(This post is addressed to Jalali Baba. It is written in response to his comment on the previous post. It is meant to be a token of thanks to his highness for having taken time enough to post a comment on this infidel's blog. It is also meant to be repentance for impertinence shown by this infidel to that exalted comment in not addressing and replying to the comment properly.)

Jalali Baba, allow me to start by offering half of the hair on my head as an offering so you may look kindly at this token. I am also enclosing a turtle's egg shell, the left claw's imprint of the alley's black cat on the photocopy of my 10th grade mark sheet, a GM brochure of 2005 models, two party size KFC meals, and 24 Snickers' wrappers with Snickers bars packed in them as an advance repentance offering for any words of insolence that might find their devilish way into this token of repentance and respect post.

Having said that I would like to disclose that my first response to your kind remarks, worded rather unkindly, albeit typically, was to complete and upload the third installment of Introduction to Jalali Baba, which awaits its ending paragraph since the day after installment two was posted. I realized, however, that it was important to first make this offering, which is why I decided to postpone it for one more day. I hope to complete that installment soonest and upload it here for the world to see. I assure you Baba that I have already admitted your greatness in the way you have patronized Yawar over the last couple of years. I shall leave the rest of this topic to be covered in that post.

Coming to your exalted comment, allow me to take this liberty to break your comment into more manageable mini-comments, so I can do justice to the whole comment.

"You forgot to mention another sibling, the one inspired by Yousfi. Bhai meray, amar-e-waqia yeah hay kay mammolay ka shahbaz say awallen takraoo Iqbal nay karwaya thaa. tum nay phir yousifi ko khainch lia."

Baba, the sibling inspired by Yousufi is not part of the sibling rivalries. He is the good humoured elder brother whose purpose in life is to smile knowingly, to quote Yousufi, and when in doubt about any idea - to attribute to Yousufi. Call it his aqeedat with Yousufi sahab, and his unshakeable belief that it is safest to attribute all literary wisdom and excellence to Yousufi.

There have been inherent draw-backs in this approach, like the time when he had declared to an aghast audience that Yossarian was originally a character in Yousufi's books, but when Joseph Heller had stolen the idea and the name for his Catch-22, Yousufi Sahab had graciously renamed his character Mirza. In evidence thereof he had elaborated on the phonetic similarities in the two characters' names. Surprisingly, it was at this point that the aghast audience had changed into a not-so-aghast audience. He continues to believe that this was proof enough that they were convinced of this truth.

There was also the time when he had tried to prove that the only reason Yousufi's work had not been translated into any other language was that no other language had been gifted with a proponent with such impeccable command on that language, because of which no translation could do justice to the beauty of Yousufi's work. He still has me sold on the idea. Actually, he has the two rival siblings and me sold on that idea.

It was because of this reason that the Yousifiic sibling did not find mention in that post. Understandably, while the other two siblings fight for personal glory, this sweet soul endeavours to get Yousufi nominated for Nobel prize in Literature, because as he says, if Urdu ever had a chance at Nobel Prize, it was more because of Yousufi than anyone else. In this he conveniently sets aside such legends and geniuses as Ghalib, Iqbal, Faiz, Ashfaq Ahmad, Bano Qudsia, ... and the scores of others who have brought glory to Urdu. Nonetheless, I hope I have complied with your implicit command, and brought the third sibling to light.

Every one else supporting Yawar: Please have mercy on me. You have read 3-4 "works of art" by Yawar hence you like it. But every time Yawar has a new aamad, it is relayed 150 Kms to poor me on the phone.

Yawar is flattered, Jalali Baba, that you choose to refer to his humble pieces as "Works of Art" and choose to lay emphasis on this term by enclosing it in inverted commas - lest other infidels like yours truly overlook this award. Yawar undertakes to make an offering of 2 Fatayers with Jubna, 1 KFC Family Meal, a dead rat, and two alive lizards as a token of gratitude to you for your graciousness.

I would most humbly like to point out though Baba that the distance between your home and that of Yawar's is over 175 kilometers and not 150 kms. Actually, it should be stated at a real value of 213.52 kms because of your propensity to lose your way coming here, and mine to do same going to your place.
p.s. There have been times when the aamad had materialized while Yawar was sitting in Ajman, beng given lessons by the legendary Mr. Nazir Khan in newspaper reading in the car etiquette, on which occasions the distance would actually have to be stated at 275 kms, given that Yawar always takes the longer beach-side road coming back from Ajman.

(hmmm... Yawar also seems to be influenced by Yousfi: Professor used to do the same in his bank and relayed poetry to subghay)

Jalali Baba, given that Yawar works for a financial institution I am assuming that he is the Professor in your Yousufiic analogy (the Yousufiic sibling concurs). This would make you Subghay, in which case you have a lot more to worry about than just Yawariyat. You will recall Professor did find his way to glory, (not withstanding his falling for the left ear of his interviewer and his surprise at finding that the other ear was equally beautiful), while subghay was left to Magrudic devices... or the lack of those for that matter. While on the subject may I borrow Sharh-e-Ghalib from you once again....I promise to read it this time (Yawar concurs), and blog about the experience (knicq concurs).

To tell the truth, I have developed a lot of poetry based personality disorders because of Yawar. I have to listen to the latest "Kalam" and also have to say Wahh waah, mukarrar. I implore you: Have mercy!!!

Your sense of humour is caustic Jalali Baba, for you to ask for mercy from infidel blogistanis is nothing short of tafannun-e-ironic. Your greatness in patronizing Yawar is lost on no one Jalali Baba. May Allah reward you for this kindness. Yawar for his part makes an offering of road kill lotas of the motorway brought to note by Momma, doubly sugared cookies baked by Abez, and a 90 minute digital recording of dholki by akvetcher.

Yawar is humbled by your declaration that he has had a part to play in the eccentricities, which make you special and unbearable at the same time. He undertakes to make an additional offering of Dunkin Donuts' Family Pack, three and a half dried roses, two bottles of Spanish Olive Oil, a 100 stubs of Marlboro Red, and a Soehnle bathroom scale.

For my part, I thank you for your patience and understanding, and as a token of my appreciation, gratitude, admiration, and dissent undertake to make an offering of Introduction to Jalali Baba - III ASAP.